addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
What a dumb baby whore.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
