i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
