I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
you never un-have a 4some
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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