We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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