So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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