Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
