You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
