Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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