that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
