Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
