We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
