nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
