Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
my liver is dry heaving
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
