I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
