1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
