Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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