He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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