I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
