I wish I could teleport
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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