I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
