we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
