I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
