I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
