Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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