Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Your penis caused this!
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