True but thats because hes a fetus.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
