did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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