Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
