So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
