So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
