butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
