apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
