She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
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