did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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