Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
PANTIES FOUND
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
