get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
