Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think a kid would responsible me up
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
