She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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