the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
