it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
