i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
