yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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