i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
