Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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