Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
