take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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