planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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