no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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