Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
this hospital has no fireball
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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