im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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