Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
