Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
