I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
