i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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