if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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